Touch Me
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| My nephews Joshua and Linus |
I come from an extremely tactile
family. My Grandma used to say we were like a bunch of puppies, always in
a heap, romping around, wrestling and piling on to watch cartoons. My Mom
was always combing and patting and petting, not just my brothers and me, but
everyone. She worked in a nursing home and was very tender with her
patients. Now, all grown up, my brothers and I continue to pat and pet
our own families.
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| My girls |
There is something very powerful
about touch. It’s a connection that transcends words and binds us.
When I was pregnant, I would stroke my rounded belly, gently reassure my baby
girls that Mama was there. After my babies were born I couldn’t put them
down. I sat on the couch and held my girls. Didn’t clean, didn’t
cook, frequently didn’t bathe. Just held my baby.
We touch each other every day, often
more than we are aware. Hugs, holding
hands, arms around one another, pats, nudges.
Touch goes beyond these intentional acts. Little girls giggle and whisper, leaning in
to one another, shoulder to shoulder. Boys wrestle around and pile on. I lean against my friend Christi as we laugh,
pat her back as we chat. Even shopping
at CVS, I touch the arm of stranger, encouraging him into line.
All this in the course of day. We touch to express love, reassure, play – so
many things. Touch creates
connection. Connection in our social
interactions, in our family interactions even interacting with strangers. It binds us, one to another.
But, it
does so much more!
Scientists
have long studied the benefits of touch and, as it turns out, it provides more
than just socialization. Touch is
actually beneficial to growth and development, our immune system and in
lowering cortisol (the stress hormone) levels.
Dr. Tiffany Field (Touch Research Institute, Miller School of Medicine,
University of Miami) found that some touch receptors exist simply to
communicate emotion to the brain. Our
skin let’s our brain know how we feel.
That is astounding!
Our
skin, officially the integumentary system, not only protects against damage like
dehydration and abrasions, but also helps interpret the world to our brain and
thus ourselves. Babies view the world
through their skin, mother’s touch, breastfeeding, cuddling, bathing,
kissing. It is our first experience with
the world. This communication is
essential in development.
Perhaps
you’ve seen the news stories of babies consigned to orphanages in Romania. Too few nurses, too many babies. Images of dark eyed babies with blank
expressions, silent and withdrawn.
People around the world rushed to adopt these children only to discover
detachment disorders and violence. These
children had never known a mother’s gentle caress and the damage was dire. Drs. Evan Ardiel and Catharine Rankin wrote,
“Developmental delay is common in children deprived of normal sensory
stimulation.”
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| Bennie, in the beginning |
In
addition, this holds true not just for severely neglected babies, but also
premature babies bound to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Have you seen the picture of premature twins
snugged together in one cradle?
Precious? Absolutely! More importantly, that snuggle provides tactile
stimulation that improves babies health.
These babies will sleep better, eat better and gain more weight. This has given rise to Kangaroo Care! “In kangaroo care, the infant only wears a
diaper and is help upright against the bare chest of the carrier.” Dr. Feldman found that preemies who received
this type of care (at least two weeks, 1 hour/day) scored higher on both the
mental and motor domains of the Bayley assessment tests at six months.
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| Bennie with Daddy, Matt |
My
good friend Kayt became ill while pregnant with her son. He was born at 29 weeks weighing less than
three pounds. She lives out-of-state,
but sent many pictures documenting her son’s development. There were so many pictures of bare-skinned Bennie
snuggled on Daddy’s naked chest. Bennie
is now a plump and thriving 13-month-old who just celebrated his first
Halloween. More and more, you see
parents holding their teeny tiny preemies, adorned in bright bonnets and
bows. These most precious snuggles are
improving not only babies’ well-being, but Mom and Dad as well. Dr. Field showed “that a person giving the
massage experiences as great a reduction in stress hormones as the person on
the receiving end.”
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| Bennie, almost 1, with Daddy |
Let
us not forget that touch connects us. Mother
to child. Lover to lover. Friend to friend. Stranger to stranger. We touch gently to stroke and embrace, pat
and soothe, shove and play. A gentle
touch can reassure a fearful child, a grieving friend or a struggling
stranger. I was at the beach with
Christi and our girls. We visited while
our girls played on the rocks of the jetty.
Suddenly her daughter disappeared into the rocks. Christi rushed to save her daughter trapped
in a small space in the rocks. As she
lifted her terrified and injured daughter from the cave I noticed Christi was
visibly shaking from head to toe. I
quickly stepped next to her and put my arm around her shuddering body. Its ok now I spoke softly. Her bodied calmed. She was able to soothe her shaken child. Touch is vital.
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| Mother and son at the beach. |
Finally,
I have seen – you have seen – that the benefits of touch are not just to the
receiver, but also the giver. In
equity. To give is to receive. So, hug
your children, your husband, your friends.
It’s good for your health. More
importantly, it’s good for your heart!
References
Ardiel
EL, Rankin CH. The importance of touch in development. Paediatr Child Health.
2010 Mar; 15(3): 153-156.
Konnikova M. The Power of Touch. New Yorker. 2015 Mar 4, 2015.
Chillot R. The Power of Touch. Psychology Today. Mar 11,
2013.
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